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24 January 2008

“On the seventh day, after marching around the city the seventh time, the priests sounded their ram’s horns, and Joshua ordered the people to shout. The walls of the city collapsed, and the Israelites were able to charge straight into the city.” From The Bible

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One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip … but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door.

He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas Santa. Isn’t it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn’t it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?”

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Deepa sent me this ages ago.
Deeps, Here’s wishing you a M
erry Christmas…


Near Shipyard, Cochin

It all started when a friend mailed me a link “I have a blog!”. Two days of blogroll surfing, and I was hooked.

The first few days were like, you know, the first few days…unsure, clumsy, self conscious. Then, the first comment “Pretty cool, man”, ecstasy! somebody likes my stuff. I saved the page, printed it, grabbed a screenshot…I am a blogger!

From there, things got out of control pretty fast. My live revolved around the blog. I was spending so much time on the blog that my wife moved out and my biggest dilemma was whether to categorise it ‘Family’ or ‘Fun’. Then I discovered blog stats…

Each hit gave me a new high and the only thing that mattered was the hit count. I would ping Technorati every hour, mail my site address to people I hardly knew, post rave reviews about my blog on random sites, and, I hate to admit this, visit my blog every now and then, just to keep the counter ticking…

Then a fellow addict introduced me to Blogaholics Anonymous. Now, whenever I get the urge to blog, a volunteer from BA would come and sit with me till I feel better.

I am not fully cured yet. All I can say is I haven’t blogged today.

It started last Friday. On the way to office I saw a girl in a blue-and-pink churidar. Blue and Pink! Reminded me of the saree my cousin’s friend from Fort Kochi wore for her wedding – Blumme Pink.

The next girl I saw also was in blue-and-pink, so was the next, and the next…and this was just the first kilometre. By the time I reached my office (3 km. from home), the B-P girl count was 14, and my BP was like, high.

Luckily the girls in office stuck to their usual earthy shades and did not add to my woes. By evening I had completely forgotten the whole thing, but when I reached our flat, my neighbour’s kid…Pretty in Pink…and Blue.

I took the 6042 to Kochi that night. The journey was uneventful, but Kochi was bad. Vimala Raman in B-P for Alukka’s, B-P store displays in Jose Junction, every other mallu girl sporting the boy-girl-twin-birthday-bash-theme…

All can’t be a coincidence, perhaps the blue and pink dye syndicate is behind it, or the Yanks (you know, a watered-down Red & Blue) or ETs or perhaps I am going crazy…

I went and saw a doc, he assured me that ‘Blue and Pink is the New Black’ and gave me some pills.

I am OK now.

Definition:
Somebody who has, at home, Dahlia Flowers, Dalmation Dogs and a Divorced Daughter.

Overheard in Kochi. I Googled for the source and stumbled upon a quote by Craig Hosmer, US Representative,
Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmations and eyebrows.
Democrats raise Airedales, kids and taxes”

From the last word by gordon haff, for a collection of quotations “with a political slant”


“Uchi meethu vaan idindhu veezhukinra pothillum achamillai !! achamillai !!”
Mahakavi Bharathi

Spencer Junction, Chennai

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