Kumz is getting married this Sunday, and I am not able to sleep. Am not able to sleep not because Kumz is getting married, but because I feel high, frisky, perky, full of beans, as if I had had a gallon of jet fuel. Let me explain. Last month my office folks rose up in revolt and overthrew our canteen contractor (a lot of his stuff was actually revolting) – an incident known in our area as the October Revolution – and…ta da…got a coffee machine. Animal Farm meets The Matrix. Unhygienic tormentors replaced by uncaring automatons that…slurp. And the coffee is, as Knopfler would have slurred, ‘heavy heavy fuel’ and I feel high, frisky, perky…you get what I mean…

 

I thought a shower would help, didn’t. Thought I will lie on my bed and induce a dream that will carry me off to some place nice, like, you know…Vepery YWCA. But at 43, even the girls in your dreams are not interested in you.

 

I tried Nuovo Cinema Paradiso without sub-titles (hilarious), Autograph with sub-titles (hilarious, do not try this at home), finally settled for Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Full Monty treatment to King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, and God, the Bible, the Athanasian Creed

 

Check out Scene 27

 

A Reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:

 

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, “Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.” And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals … Now did the Lord say, “First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”

 

Exhibit 2

 

MAYNARD: It reads, [reading] “Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. ‘He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of Auuggggggh.’”

ARTHUR: What?

MAYNARD: [reading] “The Castle of Auuggggggh.”

BEDEVERE: What is that?

MAYNARD: He must have died while carving it.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, come on!

MAYNARD: [To LAUNCELOT] Well, that’s what it says.

ARTHUR: [To MAYNARD] Look, if he was dying, he wouldn’t bother to carve ‘auuggggh’. He’d just say it!

MAYNARD: [To ARTHUR] Well, that’s what’s carved in the rock!

GALLAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating.

 

The DVD has some great features. “On-screen Screenplay: Read the screenplay as you watch the film”. If you click on the “Special Feature for the Hard of Hearing” button, the menu is read out for you in a really loud voice…    

 

To cut a long story short, I watched three movies, downloaded Holy Grail script, read the wiki, checked out rottentomatoes (94/92), and am still not feeling sleepy. OK, that brings us to the beginning of the story…Kumz. I figured Kumz would still be up, chatting and stuff, with the wedding just a few days away…well, he hasn’t replied to my message, guess he is still chatting and stuff. Now this is something you miss once you get married, chatting and stuff…you know, you don’t want your wife to catch you.

 

Kumz is marrying Mayura on 23 Novemeber 2008. Here is wishing them a very happy married life.

 


Kumz & I in happier times. Monster House. Apr08

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